About a year ago, I posted a picture on my personal Facebook page. It depicted a black protester during the Vietnam War era holding the sign that read “No Vietnamese ever called me n***a.” My accompanied caption, “They called him ‘mọi đen’ instead LOL,” was sarcastic, meaning that this guy didn’t really know how racist my people actually can be towards black folk. It instantly came under criticism from some of my own classmates, who were already irritated by my previous offensively amusing pictures.
Had it been me three years ago, I would have thrown myself out and defended it tenaciously. But I was 19, and I knew better. I refrained from any kind of insulting language, especially name calling. I made a long comment to clarify my point, then stopped exchanging words unless it felt absolutely necessary.
I received a few phone calls from other classmates, who either knew me well or shared similar political views with me. Their assurance calmed me down greatly, while some friends’ urges for confrontation actually warned me not to cross any line.
It paid off well: I’m in the second year of my program with the best classmates ever.
“How the heck did I do that?” – sometime later I asked myself this.
The answer is clear now.
Politics are crazy, and you need friends to hold back your sanity. Whatever your ideology is, it should not be a scarecrow to repel true friends. It is important that you live up to what you believe, but it is also important that your belief is tested. Who is better to do so than your true friend at whom you can say tons of offensive thing and still knowing that he gets it?
I want to emphasize the word “true,” since your friendship is not likely to be a good one if it breaks after a debate, or if it’s solely revolved around politics. I’ve learned that friendship is much more than that.
This is not to say that I advocate bringing your friendship to the test (I’m saying this in the voice of people from Mythbusters) whenever you can. Sometimes it’s better to just switch the subject or to draw a line between your public and private life.
The American election is getting close and sucking up all attention; it promised to be one of the most polarizing elections ever.
So in case you have a friend who happens to disagree with you, keep in mind that good friends stay with you forever, while politics are just ever-flowing currents of water at your feet, which you can periodically ignore.