I have very strong reservations about online dating after an incident I was a party to recently.
This past summer, while browsing Facebook, I came across a profile of a beautiful girl. I was obviously intrigued and I sent her a friend request.
I saw that we had a mutual friend on Facebook. I had considered messaging this person to see how they knew this girl, but I had not spoken with them in some time, so I let it go.
When we started messaging each other I found that we had similar tastes. For example we both enjoyed shows like The Office and Rick and Morty, and we both enjoyed the taste of McDonald’s.
These conversations never grew past small talk and the odd time I did ask her something personal, she refused to give an answer, saying it didn’t matter. I brushed it off as her being cautious with me.
After about a month of talking online I told her I was interested in her and asked if she wanted to meet. She agreed, and soon enough I made the drive in my parents’ car from Renfrew to Orléans, where she lived.
The drive there took about an hour, but when she walked out to meet me I knew it was well worth the gas money. She was as gorgeous as her Facebook pictures had led me to believe. I felt the intensity as we looked into each other’s eyes.
After this initial meeting we met up a handful of times over the course of about two months. Usually this consisted of driving around. The more intimate we became, the more curious I became in her mysterious life. She had yet to open up to me, but I was too dazzled by her beauty to care.
Eventually I began asking her more questions, but she wouldn’t let me in. I opened up to her about my past alcohol addiction and my depression, but she still didn’t budge. Whenever my parents asked about her, I could only answer with shrugs.
I began to wonder: why was she so hesitant to let me in? Did someone, perhaps an old flame, break her heart so bad she found it hard to open up to new people?
I wanted to find these answers, and at the time I didn’t care what those answers were because at least I would have definitive information on her.
Unfortunately she revealed her true nature to me in the scariest way possible.
We were driving around the neighborhood one night when she started to direct me somewhere. Eventually she told me to park in front of a specific house. She told me to wait and got out of the car.
I then witnessed her take a crowbar that was lying against the house, walk towards the car parked in the driveway, and proceeded to smash its windows. At this point I was terrified. I wanted her to show her true face, but I was not prepared for this.
After she was finished she ran back to my car and we drove off. I asked why she had done this, and she replied that this person deserved it. Too scared to delve any deeper, I drove her home and wished her a good night.
I should have broken up with her right then and there, but I was still blinded by her beauty and I convinced myself she had a good reason for doing what she did.
About a week after that incident I got a call from the police. Apparently someone had seen my license plate number and reported the crime. The detective asked me if I was involved, and I told her what I had witnessed my girlfriend do.
It was then that the detective revealed something to me: the name on her Facebook profile, the one she had continuously told me to refer to her as, was not her real name. In addition, the car she smashed belonged to her ex.
At that moment I felt sick to my stomach. This woman — who I had opened up to about my deepest regrets — had been lying to me this entire time.
Luckily neither of us were charged with anything. We were only asked to stay away from that house.
Immediately afterwards I texted her, confronting her about her lies, and told her I was done. She begged me not to leave, but I told her off and blocked her on all social media. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life.
Looking back, there are many things I could have done to prevent this heartbreak. Maybe I should have messaged that suggested friend, maybe I should have pressed her more for answers, maybe I shouldn’t have been so open myself.
I was so blinded by her beauty, all the red flags that appeared to me were just flags.